I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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