I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
