I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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