I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
