I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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