planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
