I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
