I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
