She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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