Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
