oh god the rape fog is back!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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