I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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