did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
