Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
