I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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