last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
