just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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