:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
