She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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