grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
