He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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