The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
