Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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