Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize