I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize