Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
