Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
