I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
