He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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