so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pants are for mortals
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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