I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
