I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
