I need help removing her.
I have demons in me.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize