Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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