I hate your face
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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