My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
