This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
