Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
