So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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