you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
