have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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