your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
