I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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