So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize