He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Text me some of your sweat
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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