I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
