i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have already put on my inside pants.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
