Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize