he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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