either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
