i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
