Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
