I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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