I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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