dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
