I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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