we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
