is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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