We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
