Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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