is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
