I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
