so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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