Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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