it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
