honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I will die if light touches me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
