so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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