before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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