Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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