all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
