i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
