I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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