there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
