He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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