I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
