Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
