i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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